Note to self: Do not vacation without the laptop ever again!
I'm in Izmir, in the apartment my mother shares with my grandmother, sitting criss-cross-applesauce on the twin bed the kid sleeps in when we come to visit. Normally, this would be my mother's room, her twin bed, her very blue bedspread, rug and curtain set. After the kid was born, a Barbie border replaced the framed prints on the walls and a toy basket the hamper. Such is the love that adorns children here. Such is the love that suffocates.
When I first entered through the front door yesterday, after four high-decibel days at my in-laws, I immediately felt at peace, reuniting with the quiet that I grew up with. But once night fell, the bad lighting, the extremely uncomfortable thrones my mother calls the sofas, and the really bad programming on her satellite-free TV all started to cramp my brain.
I'm working on The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai and can barely read 2-3 pages at a time. This place has always made me feel somewhat lethargic. It's a miracle I graduated from high school!
...
"This really is a lemon tree!" the kid exclaimed pointing at the lemons growing outside this room's second-floor window. Even though her days are filled with fun-loving relatives who spoil her rotten and lots of new experiences, nights make her sad. Last night, right before she drifted off to sleep, she said she really missed New York. She said she's not "feeling well" in Turkey. When I asked her to explain, she said she's not "great" at making friends or at speaking Turkish. My heart aches when she says things like this but I try to stay strong for her as I know, in time, she won't remember how challenging things were in these early days.
...
It turns out she might have the mumps.
4 comments:
oh no! mumps!
even if that's not the case, believe me, she'll be very happy here. mama laws require us to offer them decent food, real shelter, some sort or education to enable them to fend for themselves in the real world, and true TRUE love. and maya is truly loved. there is not one reason why she should not thrive here - and soon you'll see her, again, giggling with friends and skipping on sidewalks like these nights never existed.
come back to istanbul. i miss you! and we'll set up some play dates with girly girls :) (once she's given the clear for mumps, of course. otherwise you'll be shunned thru istanbul and everyone will gossip about the rude woman who took her daughter to playdates even though she had mumps :)
Ahu (and Zeynep!)--how wonderful to hear your stories every morning with tea and breakfast. Even though we didn't see you very often, we're sad that you are so far away. A friend is planning a 50th birthday vacation to Greece in a few years...perhaps Turkey will fit into that trip for me.
I do love reading your posts. They are beautifully written--examples of how I'd explain to my kids that someone reads like a writer and then becomes a writer.
Love you!
As Zeynep said, Oh no! Mumps!
I too enjoy reading your posts and the accompanying comments.
What fun to be in the company of you three once again...
erika & sumi - are you the mystery readers to my blog??? ha! I knew someone other than family (and ahu) read it :)
you guys should really come & visit. the place is filled with fun things to do on vacation. we'll be your guides and you don't even need to stay at hotels, we have plenty of room.
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